The same arguments
You keep returning to the same issue and neither person feels heard, understood or able to resolve it.
Couples counselling · Gottman-informed
Find a way out of the same argument
Structured, practical support for communication, conflict, trust and connection in Howick or online across New Zealand.
Relationships do not have to be in crisis
Sometimes the problem is the pattern, not either person.
Good people can get stuck in cycles that leave both partners exhausted, defensive, lonely or unsure how to reach each other.
Couples counselling creates a structured space to slow those cycles down, understand what is happening underneath them and practise different ways of responding. The goal is not to decide who is right. It is to help both people understand the relationship more clearly and build something safer and more workable together.
Common reasons couples come
When love is there, but the relationship feels stuck
Couples often arrive with several of these happening at the same time.
Communication breakdown
Conversations quickly become criticism, defensiveness, withdrawal, escalation or silence.
Disconnection
You function well as a team on paper, but friendship, affection, intimacy or emotional closeness have faded.
Trust & repair
Something has damaged trust and you need a safer, more structured way to understand the hurt and decide what repair looks like.
Different needs
Parenting, money, sex, family, work or future plans keep exposing differences that are hard to navigate together.
A stronger relationship
Things are not necessarily in crisis, but you want better tools, a clearer shared language and more intentional connection.
Gottman-informed work
A framework for understanding what happens between you.
Gottman-informed counselling offers a practical map for friendship, communication, conflict, repair, trust and shared meaning.
Jonathan has completed Level 1 and Level 2 Training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy. He describes his work as Gottman-informed because the framework is one part of a broader person-centred and pluralistic approach. It is used to support the people in the room, rather than forcing every relationship into a formula or implying certification as a Certified Gottman Therapist.
Read the full guide to Gottman-informed couples counselling →Focus areas
- Strengthening friendship and emotional connection
- Recognising destructive conflict patterns earlier
- Building gentler ways to raise difficult issues
- Repairing after conflict instead of carrying it forward
- Understanding trust, commitment and shared meaning
What the process can look like
Understand the relationship from both sides
The exact sequence is adapted to the couple. Where useful, the work can include both joint and individual conversations.
Start together
Clarify what each person is experiencing, what keeps happening and what you both want from counselling.
Add individual context where useful
Separate conversations can help understand history, sensitivities and each person's experience without turning the work into taking sides.
Return to the relationship
Bring the shared map back into the room and practise clearer communication, repair and connection together.
Ready when you are
Your relationship does not have to be at breaking point to get support.
View live availability for a 70-minute couples session, or contact Jonathan if you have a question first.